I have been dealing with self-esteem issues for a very long time.
My mind would constantly churn out thoughts like ‘I’m not capable enough’, ‘everyone else is better than me’, ‘I’m not good at anything’, ‘I’m talentless’ and more stuff like that.
No matter how much I worked hard or persevered to achieve something, I never gave any credit to myself. I always found reasons to bring out the negatives in any situation.
I know many of you struggle with the same feeling- The feeling of being not good enough.
What makes a person feel that way?
All my life I have never been confident about my caliber and talents. I used to feel like I’m not worth anything and everyone else is better than me. Even when I achieved something, I would somehow find reasons to undermine myself. I would even turn my positives into negatives.
The worst kind. I doubted everything I did. I was always afraid that people would judge me when in reality I was my own worst critic. This thinking that I’m not good enough was MORE than enough to pull me down.
Seeking Approval of Others
I constantly relied on other people to tell me I’m worthy and I waited for their praises and gratifications. Sure acknowledgment and encouragement is what keeps people together and pushes us to work harder but what I didn’t realize earlier, is that much of the acknowledgment and encouragement should have come from me first.
I Changed, For Better
All those years, I knew I was doing something wrong. I knew I needed to change to become happier and more confident, but I never had the courage to make that change. It wasn’t until the final year of college, that I decided I really need to make some serious changes in my approach towards life and how I viewed myself. As I understood the power of positive thinking, I paved the way to self-improvement and self-love.
It was a liberating realization.
I surrounded myself with positive affirmations, I added many productive habits to my daily routine and I put my focus on all the good attributes in me. I take every compliment wholeheartedly and I don’t doubt my abilities anymore. Although I believe I’m happier than before, I still have a long way to go.
You know, as they say, ‘Old habits die hard’, I still find myself criticising the work I do and decisions I make in my day to day life, but I have practiced and learned to reason with the critic I have inside me and use this criticism in a healthy way.
I have become my own motivator. I’m able to push myself in the right direction. I’m able to acknowledge my efforts towards improvement.
What can help a person to change?
I realized that if I could make myself miserable with all the negative self-talk, I could use that power to make myself better. I didn’t want to waste my precious years in self-criticism and self-doubt. I made a decision to become better. I realized that I was the only one who was undermining me and I could change it. The power is with me.
Even when I thought of starting a blog, I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it and that no one would like my content. But I tried to reinforce positive thoughts over it, like –
‘I have this amazing platform to share my thoughts and experiences, and no matter how small my audience is, I am able to share some positivity with them.’
Reinforcing positive thoughts is much better than constantly undermining yourself and stopping yourself from reaching your full potential.
And I love blogging now. I let my thoughts out unreservedly and writing about the lessons I have learned until now, makes me content and happy. It allows me to improve myself every day and build so many good habits. And in this process, I have interacted with so many awesome people who feel the same way and learned more about different lifestyles.
Only you hold the responsibility of what you have become.
Our environment, the people around us have an impact on us but ultimately, we have the power to mold ourselves the way we want to.
Good or bad – it’s all in your head.
If you constantly put yourself down, how can you expect to achieve positive results!
Just jump right in what you want to do and what you want to achieve. You will only get better at it if you have the courage to take the first step and the will to continue. Don’t allow yourself to get trapped into the vicious cycle of negativity, discouragement, and unhappiness. You can pull yourself out of the misery. You can make yourself good enough. Hell yeah, you can make yourself much more than just “good enough”.
You have two choices.
Think positively and have a clearer perspective and become a confident and happier person.
Think negatively and continuously undermine yourself which will eventually lead you to not taking any initiative and only complaining about life.
The choice to be chosen is obvious when we put it in this way. But more often than not, we end up ignoring the obvious and we become oblivious to what is actually good for us.
If you can choose to become more positive and mindful, why would you want to go the other way? Making just one positive change in your life will push you to towards all the other things that are good for you.
Crossing the threshold of this ’not good enough feeling’ is difficult, but when you set your mind to changing yourself for the better, you can instantly feel the rush of confidence within you that pushes you further toward a better you.
You are Awesome! Don’t ever forget that.
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