I have been dealing with self-esteem issues for a very long time.
My mind would constantly churn out thoughts like ‘I’m not capable enough’, ‘everyone else is better than me’, ‘I’m not good at anything’, ‘I’m talentless’ and more stuff like that.
No matter how much I worked hard or persevered to achieve something, I never gave any credit to myself. I always found reasons to bring out the negatives in any situation.
I know many of you struggle with the same feeling- The feeling of being not good enough.
What makes a person feel that way?
The Culprits
Low Self-Confidence
All my life I have never been confident about my caliber and talents. I used to feel like I’m not worth anything and everyone else is better than me. Even when I achieved something, I would somehow find reasons to undermine myself. I would even turn my positives into negatives.
Self-Doubt
The worst kind. I doubted everything I did. I was always afraid that people would judge me when in reality I was my own worst critic. This thinking that I’m not good enough was MORE than enough to pull me down.
Seeking Approval of Others
I constantly relied on other people to tell me I’m worthy and I waited for their praises and gratifications. Sure acknowledgment and encouragement is what keeps people together and pushes us to work harder but what I didn’t realize earlier, is that much of the acknowledgment and encouragement should have come from me first.
I Changed, For Better
All those years, I knew I was doing something wrong. I knew I needed to change to become happier and more confident, but I never had the courage to make that change. It wasn’t until the final year of college, that I decided I really need to make some serious changes in my approach towards life and how I viewed myself. As I understood the power of positive thinking, I paved the way to self-improvement and self-love.
It was a liberating realization.
I surrounded myself with positive affirmations, I added many productive habits to my daily routine and I put my focus on all the good attributes in me. I take every compliment wholeheartedly and I don’t doubt my abilities anymore. Although I believe I’m happier than before, I still have a long way to go.
You know, as they say, ‘Old habits die hard’, I still find myself criticising the work I do and decisions I make in my day to day life, but I have practiced and learned to reason with the critic I have inside me and use this criticism in a healthy way.
And now,
I have become my own motivator. I’m able to push myself in the right direction. I’m able to acknowledge my efforts towards improvement.
What can help a person to change?
The Saviors
Realization
I realized that if I could make myself miserable with all the negative self-talk, I could use that power to make myself better. I didn’t want to waste my precious years in self-criticism and self-doubt. I made a decision to become better. I realized that I was the only one who was undermining me and I could change it. The power is with me.
Even when I thought of starting a blog, I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it and that no one would like my content. But I tried to reinforce positive thoughts over it, like –
‘I have this amazing platform to share my thoughts and experiences, and no matter how small my audience is, I am able to share some positivity with them.’
Reinforcing positive thoughts is much better than constantly undermining yourself and stopping yourself from reaching your full potential.
And I love blogging now. I let my thoughts out unreservedly and writing about the lessons I have learned until now, makes me content and happy. It allows me to improve myself every day and build so many good habits. And in this process, I have interacted with so many awesome people who feel the same way and learned more about different lifestyles.
Responsibility
Only you hold the responsibility of what you have become.
Our environment, the people around us have an impact on us but ultimately, we have the power to mold ourselves the way we want to.
Good or bad – it’s all in your head.
If you constantly put yourself down, how can you expect to achieve positive results!
Just jump right in what you want to do and what you want to achieve. You will only get better at it if you have the courage to take the first step and the will to continue. Don’t allow yourself to get trapped into the vicious cycle of negativity, discouragement, and unhappiness. You can pull yourself out of the misery. You can make yourself good enough. Hell yeah, you can make yourself much more than just “good enough”.
Choice
You have two choices.
Think positively and have a clearer perspective and become a confident and happier person.
Or,
Think negatively and continuously undermine yourself which will eventually lead you to not taking any initiative and only complaining about life.
The choice to be chosen is obvious when we put it in this way. But more often than not, we end up ignoring the obvious and we become oblivious to what is actually good for us.
If you can choose to become more positive and mindful, why would you want to go the other way? Making just one positive change in your life will push you to towards all the other things that are good for you.
Crossing the threshold of this ’not good enough feeling’ is difficult, but when you set your mind to changing yourself for the better, you can instantly feel the rush of confidence within you that pushes you further toward a better you.
You are Awesome! Don’t ever forget that.
Blogger: Jigeesha Muduli
Blogger Bio: She has a blog that encourages you to be more optimistic and have a positive outlook toward life.
Blog link: Hopes Up
Facebook: Hopes Up 101
Twitter: HopesUp
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This Post Has 26 Comments
A lovely inspiring post.
This feeling is something that we all came across at some point in life. The point is not to compare yourself with others others and don’t be afraid of failure. Life is a victory, so you already won. Now enjoy in that victory!
Thank you for sharing Crisly!
Thank you for such an empowering words.
I think we can all relate to this. Taking responsibility is key, and knowing our own self-worth. I struggle on and off, but reading this reminds me how to take control. Thank you for this!
It is great to know that Jigeesha’s story reminded you to take control. Thank you for your comment Robyn.
I totally understand what you are saying, and I agree! Putting myself down was something I did unconsciously, but I am trying to break the habit.
Thank You for your courageous share, my dear! It takes heart to recognize our own worth, to break through programming /upbringing /culture, etc (our own baggage) and to embrace who we’ve come to be. I particularly like the way you shared HOW you turned your life around: change your mind, change your life 👍🏼. I am inspired, proud and enlightened. Blessings to you on your beautiful journey of homecoming 🙏🏼💕With Appreciation, Evelyn http://www.PathofPresence.com
We are happy to know that the story of our writer, Jigeesha inspired you. She has touch lives by sharing her story.
You indeed write with indepth knowledge that inspires others. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post.
Thank you. Indeed, Jigeesha is such an inspiring woman. Thank you for doping by.
Very well penned. Needing approval from others is especially something that will always keep us feeling not good enough
True, and Jigeesha is really brave in breaking this habit and changing the way she deals with life.
The stress of being not good enough is a slow eater of my mindfulness. Perhaps your thought can make a little change in my life. I’ll definitely try to fight with it.
Your positivity and willingness to try already shows that you are good enough 🙂 Please let us know the result after applying Jigeesha’s thoughts. We hope that it will make a little change in your life 🙂
I came to this article because I can relate it to myself. It is true that no one won’t have such feeling in one point of his/her life. I believe, though, it differs from one to another who we feel. There are feelings the author pointed out which I can’t relate them to myself such as seeking for approval from others. I don’t care about others’ thoughts about me as lomg as I resoect them. However, the desire to change and not pursue it, it is the feeling that i can relate to.
Overall, this article is inspiring and informative, and what I mean by informative is informative in a sense of making us aware of why sometimes we don’t feel good enough.
Thank you for your upliftings words.
The mind is such a powerful thing! I do not feel that I’m not good enough but I think the more self improvement things you interject into your life, the better you will feel. I’ve already planned on starting to focus more on me this week so reading this reminded me why it’s important. Thank you!
Loved the post.. very well written.. The feeling of not being good enough strike everyone once atleast.. This is sure motivation and inspirational. Realization is surely key solution
I definitely understand what you are saying. I used to put my self down, but this is not a good habit. Your post is very motivational and useful 🙂
I am deeply humbled by all the positive response this post has received. Thank you everyone for your lovely comments and appreciation. I’m truly grateful for it.
And, Thanks again, Crisly! You’re doing a great job.
You’re most welcome Jigeesha, your story touches and influence peoples lives. Many people can relate. We are honored to featured you.
What a great read 👍🏽
I really needed this! It’s been a hard couple of years
Your story is just like echo of me… I can feel this struggle ….got inspired to know that I’m not the only one in earth who had this kind of experience and trying to cope up on same way…
Hey Crisly, always a pleasure to read your posts. This one is close to me because after coming back into blogging and sharing my handmade creations. I feel not good enough in a sea of other highly talented individuals out there. With some already having great connections. This post helps me over come this for sure….. 🙂
Hi Jada, I’m glad that you enjoyed reading our posts and I’m happy that this story helps and inspired you to overcome the feeling of not being good enough. Remember, never doubt yourself because in this world, you are like a finger print. There is an ocean of it, but there are no two alike in this world. You are unique and stay that way 😉.