“Crisly, the boss wanted to see you in his office”. It was those words that changed my life. Friends, have you ever encountered jealous people in your life? A friend, family, or a co-worker? Have you been treated like you don’t belong in the society just because you were different?
I would like to share with you an experience I had when I was still working in hospitality. It will show you how a co-worker can make you feel bad about yourself if you let them. I also wanted to share how to handle jealous co-workers. Workmates can either make you or break you, and mine tried the latter.
Most Disarming Thing
Before I became a purchasing manager, I was a waitress for 2 months and I liked it. Everyone was my friend, except for one grumpy dining supervisor. She always talked to me like she owns me. “Crisly, what is it that you’re wearing? This is not a church, my goodness. Crisly, start talking to the guests. Do not walk like you’re in the runway.” Those were her exact words to me on my very first day being a waitress.
I did what she told me to do. I came to work the next day and instead of wearing my black slack pants, and a white ¾ sleeve blouse, I wore a black denim mini skirt. As you may know, when jeans meet skirt, beauty happens. I paired it with a white blouse that showed my curves. I’m not trying to boast here. 😊 I started talking to customers and got big tips. I thought she would be happy of my achievement.
To my surprise, she placed me at the back of the dining area. She told me not to go out front to serve the customers. I should serve the office staff instead, and bring their food to the office. I must serve the drunk customers at the bar. She was mean and nasty.
What was the most disarming thing I have done to deal with her? Smile! Yes! Whenever people are mean to you, give them your best sparkling smile. My co-workers would talk to me about her, and we will just laugh about her attitude.
Never Assume Anything
For 2 months of being a waitress, I thought I knew my co-workers. I thought they were my friends. Until one the day, the office staff told me that the boss needed to talk to me. I came up to the office, my heart was beating so fast. I stood in front of the office door and was afraid to knock. Finally, after standing there for a few seconds, with a shaky hand I knocked on the door.
“Boss, you wanted to speak to me? Did I do something wrong?” My voice was trembling and the butterflies in my stomach were flying everywhere. I was afraid what is it that my grumpy supervisor did this time. To my surprise, I was promoted as an assistant purchasing manager. Never assume anything. Better ask first before making your own horror.
First day in my new position, my friends, acted like they don’t know me. Half of them stopped talking to me. The other half started asking me how did I get the position after 2 months. Why did I accept it? Why me, and not them since they were in the company years before me. I could not believe that my “friends” were that toxic. Instead of hating them, I just smiled at them. I detached myself from people like them, and showed them the reason why it was me and not them.
Better Life Outside of Comfort Zone
Early, 2016 I became the head Purchasing Manager and they are still serving food in the same restaurant. Today, I am writing this blog in the comfort of my home, proud of how far I’ve gone. I am no longer working for anyone. I am no longer serving food to customers, and no longer dealing with grumpy supervisors. I’m not in a group of toxic workmates.
Those who questioned me, are still in the same position they’ve been working in for years. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being a waitress. My point is that they became so blind with their own situation. That’s because they focused their energy on talking about other people behind their back. They became so comfortable inside a box. They forgot that there is a better life outside their comfort zone. If they just tried to use their energy and broaden their reach, they would have enjoyed the same life as I do now.
My experiences made me realize to never hate people that are jealous of you. I learned to respect their jealousy instead. They are the ones that think you are better than them. Don’t let your light dim just because it’s too shiny for them. Most of all, be happy in front of people that dislike you, it may inspire them.
Are you dealing with jealous workmates? What are you doing about it? Share your thoughts. We would like to know more on how to deal with jealous co-workers.
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This Post Has 50 Comments
Jealous people are actually longing to become ‘YOU’ because they secretly admire your qualities, the way others treat you and your overall personality!
And Crisly the way you handled them and emerged as a rockstar is commendable! Keep shining:)
Thank you Navneet, I agree with you, it’s sad that there are people who instead of supporting you they will try to destroy you. Such attitude won’t take them nowhere but thesame place where they have always been.
Exactly that’s absolutely true!
Nice one !
I think I don’t have any jealous coworker. But I have some friends who are highly jealousy with me. Sometime they don’t even talk to me, just for this.
Love how you cope up with such co-workers. Commendable !!
Seriously, the best thing you can do is just kill those toxic people with kindness, you are wayyy better than that negativity!!
I love that, kill them with kindness 😃 thank you for dropping by Stephanie 😉
Jealousy in the workplace is common. I have a few such coworkers who were jealous of me, so I can relate to this very well. I feel It takes a lot of patience not to lose your cool in front of other people and you handled them so well, Crisly.
Happy blogging 🙂
Thank you Preeti. Indeed, jealousy everywhere exist. Somebody once told me that you only win if you make your enemies think that they are winning, that was always the thought I keep reminding myself so I manage to return their negativity with a sparkling smile 😊😆
This is so true and something that happens very often actually a little bit too often for my liking! I’m happy you got that promotion you earned it so you deserve it despite what co workers may think!
True, thank you for your comment ☺️
I like the story you shared! That’s crazy that the lady on your first day was still mean to you after you did what she said. Sometimes you just have to do what you think and not worry about what others think. Easier said than done though.
I also can relate to what you said about those girls and how you got promoted to a higher position. Sometimes people waste all their energy on just being negative instead of being positive and that doesn’t get them anywhere.
It really is a shame that some people can’t leave their jealousy behind them. A great post!
At my work place I always kept one thumb rule in my mind. Every person there is just a co-worker and not my friend. I am kind to everyone, I talk with them politely and hold no negative thought for them but I also never share any things like what Boss told me in a meeting, my bonus, my salary or my next job offer.
Congratulation on getting promoted. This is so true that we should not assume thing unnecessarily and get worried. Instead hope for the best and wait for the result patiently.
That is a great advice, thank you.
Such a great topic you are addressing as not alot of persons see this as a problem to discuss at work
I am happy that I have dealt this problem as it made me aware of posibilities outside the 9 to 5 world.
An honest take on how sometimes institutionalization sets in and shapes the minds of many coworkers. It, sort of, blinds them to see life beyond their ‘organizational role’. Well done, there!
I agree with every words you’ve said, thank you.
I think jealousy is a form of illness and it ruined ones personality. They are afraid of you being nice that’s why they show jealousy.
Jealousy is like a virus, it eats people from the inside 🙂
I don’t have any jealous workmates, glad for that. But if someone is jealous, it’s because deep inside they’d LOVE to be you!
I agree with you. If someone is jealous of you it just shows that you have something they wished to have 🙂 I’m glad you are in with the right and like minded person that no one is jealous of you.
A logical and timely post..really love it…
First of all I want to congratulate you on becoming the Purchase manager ..Coming to the topic yes there will be people in the organizations who always try to pull you down because you are performing well or they want to take your place.We need to handle these kinda situations smartly and that;s what you did. Great Job.Very nice topic. 🙂
Thank you Ramesh, I am glad I handle this situation very well 🙂 and couldn’t be happier that I got away from this kind of people.
this is such a great topic and glad to know many of us are not alone in this issue- especially when dealing w/ people we see every single day
Thank you Cait. Yes, we dealt with this type of people everyday, everywhere, and it is empowering to know that we are not alone.
This also happens in my school where people get jealous. Great advice!
Jealous people everywhere. I guess we can’t live without them. But they don’t matter so let’s just ignore all of them.
Jealousy is a dangerous disease, actually but can be cured. They just need proper guidance to make things right.
Workplace interactions can be difficult. Good supervisors are aware of this don’t allow petty treatment to continue or go unchecked.
Unfortunately most “supervisors” are the one’s starting this kind of treatment.
atta girl! your story is truly inspiring to everyone who experience bullying in workplace. At least, you showed your former co-workers that you did stand out and deserve the promotion.
Thank you Catha 🙂 indeed, I did!
” Never hate people that are jealous of you ” that is great thought !!!. It really implies that you are ahead of them. I always remain calm in front if such people and sooner or later they understand not get jealous instead improve themselves to meet up to me !!. That creates a healthy working environment and you get more quality work from them !!!
What I have seen in my entire career that people who are jealous never grow up in organisation ladder. It’s their inferiority complex makes them act as such.It’s a typical mindset and superiors comes to know with a period of time. But you have to face this its there in most of the organisation.
Agree with you. Jealousy is everywhere.
This also happens in my school where people get jealous. Great advice!
Thank you, glad you found it valuable advice.
In every workplace, there would really be people like that. It’s human nature to get jealous – us, ourselves, feel that too. But it actually depends now on the individual on how they would take jealousy. Ideally, it can inspire them to push themselves to get better. On the negative side, they will just show you that you dont deserve what you have, blah blah. Do not mind them. Instead, inspire them that they too can do better.
Jealousy is a human nature, but your article has helped me getting thru it. I tried it and reaction is going well
You are indeed correct. I always fall victim of assuming alot and this has further affected my relationships with some people at my work place.
Crisly you told the story of my life. You just maintain your integrity as you move forward. Leave the past behind as you don’t want to weighed down by any baggage as you move to elevated spaces
You can actually be proud if other people envy you! It means that there must be something you’re doing right. 😉
Love,
Claudia
http://thatsmeonline.net
Well I don’t know if I have a jealous co-workers or not or student as I am still in college . But your reading your post will definanately give me a heads up when I will be doing some job . And it is so true to keep a good smile while dealing with a situation . This post is really helpful.. Thank you
Luckily My co worker is my brother so I never experience this thing.
Jealousy can create tension in a work environment, I personally do not understand this term..
i couldnt agree more. There is no way we can avoid jealousy people, it is better we face them with the best smile we got and not take it up to your head. If we have a proper view of our future and worked hard for it without being bothered about the naysayers we will be the once to be leading and them to be doing what they are best at, being jealous and being negative