Some people say that there are no perfect relationships. In every relationship, we all experience miscommunication, which may lead to conflict. We can work on it and avoid these relationship disputes. The goal of resolving conflict in a relationship is not supremacy or defeat. It’s reaching understanding and letting go of our need to be right. You can turn your conflict into connection with the right communication. Here are 10 powerful ways how to resolve conflict in a relationship.
Have in mind that this article is by no means THE definitive guide nor that these are the ONLY 10 ways to resolve issues. These ways were effective in my own relationship and my husband and I worked on it for years. This is somewhat of a testimonial on how my relationship turned into something more than just 2 people being together.
Showing Appreciation
Always show and tell your loved one that you appreciate them. What’s taken for granted will eventually be taken away. Then you end up missing most what you least appreciated. Appreciate what you have before it turns into what you had.
Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
Sometimes I ended up asking myself various questions to see whether saying something can be simplified. How difficult is it to say something like: “I appreciate you for taking care of the dinner tonight.”? Surely it can’t be that hard. This doesn’t boil down to a man being a man or a woman being a woman. It’s simply considering and appreciating even the little things.
Saying Sorry
It takes a strong person to say sorry, and even a stronger person to forgive. Saying sorry does not always mean that you’re wrong, it just means that you value your relationship more than your ego. There is a big misconception with some people who believe that saying sorry is a sign of weakness. Saying sorry also doesn’t mean that you should ALWAYS be apologetic.
An apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.
It’s simply showing the fact that you acknowledge the mistake and you are trying to learn from it. The follow-up or the second important part of it is forgiving. Remember, this approach is a two-way street. Both partners should be equally involved and invested in resolution.
Misunderstanding Situations
The greatest distance between two people is a misunderstanding. A single moment of misunderstanding is incredibly vicious. It can make us forget all the enchanting moments that we’ve spent together in the blink of an eye. Never let the situation mean more than the relationship.
Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
I’ve experienced a great number of misunderstandings in life, whether it was in my own life, or in the lives of people around me. I have also seen relationships, marriages and partnerships crumble just because different people see things from a different perspective.
Don’t take a defensive stance right away. Listen, clarify and even reiterate what others have said. That way, you will be able to avoid that dreaded misunderstanding.
Talking About Issues
Instead of giving your loved one a cold shoulder, consider saying what you think this issue reminded you of. Beware of icy behavior such as pouting, stomping out of the room, or showing a lack of interest in your partner’s emotions.
When there's a misunderstanding, one must make a compromise. This word is not a bad word.
Talking about issues can bring clarity to a relationship and help you learn how to deal with conflict in a relationship. Be aware of your language though. Just because you are talking about something, doesn’t mean that you should let it out whichever way you feel like it. Do consider your partner’s feelings and try wording your thoughts in a simple, concise and easy to understand manner.
When this is put together the right way, your talk about issues will turn into talk about solutions.
Being Scared
Tell your partner that you fear what you feel. Doesn’t being scared let you know you’re onto something important? Everyone fears being the one who cares too much or loves too much. Therefore, you should tell your partner what it is you are afraid of.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
It’s another sensitive topic where some people may feel that expressing fear is a sign of weakness. It is completely understandable that some people get more scared than the others. That’s what makes us human. If you are truly there for your partner, you will help them overcome that fear.
In return, this will elevate your respect for one another and improve your feelings and trust toward your partner.
Speaking Your Mind
What is it you want in your relationship? Let your loved one know. Remember, you may be partners but your thoughts are your own. Your partner cannot read what’s on your mind. Say what you want and be willing to open up.
Removing boundaries by opening up about something can be genuinely helpful. Your relationship can flourish further by expressing your thoughts freely. This way both partners can practice active listening which will result in a more meaningful relationship.
Don't be afraid to be unique or speak your mind, because that's what makes you different from everyone else.
I’ve successfully proved this theory in my own life, with my husband. We took this seriously from the start of our relationship and improved over time. I’m not saying that you can just click right away, but with good effort, it has a huge potential.
Equal Time Advocate
It’s ok to wonder, wisdom begins in it. Tell your loved one what will you learn from your dispute. Be an equal time advocate. Make sure each of you has the same chance to discuss concerns and solutions or ideas about your conflict.
The time is always right to do the right thing.
While it may seem impossible to achieve it perfectly, striving to allow equal time for thoughts expression can open up the relationship. Have in mind that some partners are not vocal as much as others. Use patience wisely here. Encourage your partner to take time and think about what they want to say.
This can build trust and help in strengthening the bond between partners in a relationship. If you trust your significant other and allow them time to process information, your life will be further enhanced.
Admit Being Wrong
Admit that you are wrong. Most relationships fail because couples fight with pride more than they work with love. It is better to lose your pride to the one you love than to lose someone you love for your pride. Remember, pride can negatively influence relationships to the point of breaking.
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in your own opinion. Consider this: we are all humans. We are prone to mistakes by nature. It doesn’t mean that you and your partner are always wrong. Just look at things from both sides and improve chances of conflict resolution in a relationship.
Our love of being right is best understood as our fear of being wrong.
You can learn so much together. That’s the beauty of a meaningful relationship, growing and flourishing. Being wrong doesn’t mean that you can’t turn it into being right. Wouldn’t it be great to be right together instead of being wrong alone?
Being Thankful
Thank the person who makes a difference in your life. Thank your loved one for making you fall in love all over again. Thank him/her for being a part of your journey.
Relationships work with mutual effort and those efforts can be acknowledged with a simple “thank you”. Try not to think of it as overused, generic saying because it may seem that way in the first place. Whatever you say, if it is said with meaning, it can make a world of difference.
Thankfulness creates gratitude which generates contentment that causes peace.
Those are just two words, but they can go a long way. My husband and I thank each other every day. It also serves as a reminder that even though we have been together for some time, we still have a sense of thankfulness towards each other.
3 Magical Words
The most important words. If there is a better way of saying or expressing love and affection, please let me know. It’s not because I don’t show and say it often enough, it’s because I want to learn more about love. It’s endless lessons never cease to amaze me. I Love You!
How amazing is that? Imagine the first person in history saying that. Now imagine how far can one go in expressing love. This doesn’t have to be done only with spoken words. It can be a written note, sign language, or any other way you see fit.
I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
Love can move mountains and I was the first-hand witness to that. My husband went out of his way to show me that love transcends everything. We came from two completely different worlds, different cultures, and different upbringings. Yet, we’ve managed to find common language and way to communicate our love for each other.
A word of caution. Don’t drown your partner with love. Love should be practiced gracefully and used gradually. This way, you will build humility and compassion together which will result in everlasting love. I took this saying from my husband as he keeps reminding me of it every day.
Final Thoughts on How to Resolve Conflict in a Relationship
Dialogue is the most effective way of resolving conflict in a relationship. Whenever you’re in conflict and your relationship is at stake, one factor can make the difference. You can either deepen it or mend it.
Show appreciation to your significant other regularly. Don’t be afraid to say sorry. Talk to your partner and avoid misunderstanding and inconvenient situations.
Talking about different things every day can help extend understanding for each other. It is ok to be afraid or scared. Allow your partner to know that and help each other out outgrow fear.
Speaking your mind can help improve active listening and while it takes time to exercise it, the outcome is quite amazing. You can also allow each other enough time to express thoughts meaningfully. Some may take more, some may take less time to speak openly.
There’s nothing wrong in admitting that you’re wrong. Be honest to yourself and to your significant other. While being honest, don’t forget to be thankful too. Simple “thank you” can make a world of difference.
Last but not least, say those 3 magical words as often as you think is needed. I love you!
Enjoy your relationship, nurture it, and watch it grow.
This Post Has 75 Comments
Hello Crisly, thank you so much for sharing this post. I really can relate to some conflict at the moment, but I feel that you raise some wonderful points in this post. Communication is so important, isn’t it? This post really came at a great time for me 🙂
Glad I can shed some light. Yes, comunication plays a big role in our relationships, bad commuication will end it while proper communication will nourish it. I am happy that this post empowers you. Mend that relationship dispute and conflict you are experiencing at the moment. Would be happy to know what happen next 🙂 .
Though these points are very true but the main thing is communication, which people dont do and avoid.
Saying sorry and admitting when we’re in the wrong have always been issues for my partner and I. Great post.
Great reminder! Not only can you use with your significant other but would work with your children. I feel like I’m constantly battling with my teenager. Thanks for the info. Cc
These are the lessons I wished I had learned before my divorce, but this means I’m ready for the love of my life 🙂
Hi Maggie,
Good things are coming your way, the true and right person will go through these with you. It happened to me, my divorce was a blessing in disguised and love is sweeter the second time around they said, and I totally agree with it 🙂
Great tips! I especially love showing appreciation and saying I’m sorry. Recognizing when you are in the wrong is so important.
You couldn’t be more right about watching how you say things. So important to still consider your partners feelings when wording your concerns
Enlightening post! A lot of couples find it hard to resolve conflicts because of pride. One person is waiting for the other person to say sorry first but no one ever says it and the relationship falls apart. Everyone needs to learn how to say sorry first; it’s a magical word that opens doors. Thanks for writing this, Crisly!
Glad you appreciate it Jen,
You are right, some people tend to value their pride and ego than to value their relationships.
I really love your thought of how to handle these conflicts of every married couple. It is truly indeed that appreciation is sometimes missing out in a relationship that is supposedly present at all times. Simple words like thank you, I’m sorry, don’t worry, I love you etc. Are those simple words yet with great impact is taken for granted most of the time.
These are great ways to resolve conflict in a relationship. Many of the suggestions such as dialogueing and speaking your mind I have successfully implemented in relationships and look forward to implementing the ones I have not yet tried.
Thank you Keshia,
Let us know how it goes with you after trying out the one’s you haven’t done yet, we woud love to know how it works with other couples.
These are all on point and will greatly help, but still the main thing is that a relationship without communication is doomed from the start, if you can’t communicate with your partner or avoiding resolving issues then it’s better to end the relationship.
I agree with you, if two people cannot communicate like proper adults they are in no business being together.
Everyone has flaws and commits mistakes differently. To admit and apologize is right way to diffuse any tension between couple. Your guiding steps will greatly help in resolving conflicts.
This is all great advice! It can be so hard to admit you are wrong and say you’re sorry.
Very well articulated..what matters most is engagement through communication ..as long communication is on any adverse situation can be retrieved
Such a good advice! It’s so hard to properly comminicate sometimes, it’s great to have new tools 🙂
I think the most important thing is saying sorry. It’s so difficult but so important.
My boyfriend and I have a great communication. We barley fight and when we do we talk about it. I like your post. It does show that both people in a relationship need to communicate.
For years I found it hard to say sorry if I didn’t do anything intentionally. But I’ve realized how healing those words can be.
I love this post! It’s so true, dialogue is key to resolving conflict! Even though my husband can drive me crazy sometimes (and vice versa) we have learned over the years to communicate our feelings asap and not let any negativity fester too long! Great post! Can’t wait to read what’s next!
-Veronica Olafsen
Thank you Veronica, communication has been one of the key elements to our successful relationship, and I am happy that you prove that as well 🙂
talk about the issue is very important for me. If something you dont like it you should talk with each other, let the another one know how is your feeling
Yes, it is very important in a relationship to talk about the issue. You both need to let each other know how you feel.
Thanks for the share. These are great tips in resolving relationships. I think the most important one is to listen to each other in order to understand each other. Not just listen with your ears but also with your mind and heart as each side should be respected equally.
You are absolutely right, listen with the intent of accepting and understanding. Listen with your heart.
Not only that you read widely shown by your excellent references but your personal experiences on the matter of love and relationships speaks volume and there’s no denying that experience really is the best teacher. Hats off ….
I think these are great ways to rekindle a relationship. Especially saying sorry and speaking your mind out. Great post!
Great blog, I love the positivity and the quotes!
Communication and being willing to be vulnerable are so important in relationships. These are excellent tips that I look forward to applying. Thanks for sharing!
Crisly, thank you for sharing. It is a well researched post. I trust what you are saying.
I think I need to print this out and read it with my husband. We both work and have kids and don’t get a chance to communicate a lot. Great read!
Hey Crisly, loved reading this article. It makes perfect sense because these are the things people in healthy relationships are doing right and are as old school yet effective as they can. Thanks for sharing!
I couldn’t agree more. Always forgive and communicate. We can always resolve conflict in every relationship. And don’t let ego manipulate your attitude.
Hey, this is a great article & has great tips. Personally, I believe communication is the strongest tool one can use. However, if the other person doesn’t communicate that well, it can kill a relationship.
Communication and realizing that a person may have a different outlook than you or understanding is key. My BF always gets upset when we have a disagreement because I have to make sense of it in my way. I told him that I am a 3+1=4 person, you’re a 2+2=4 person but as long as the answer is the same does it matter how we got there? We agree.
This post is so important. Thanks for this because even though I try to make sure that I do these things, I forget. This is such a great reminder and I couldn’t agree more. These things apply to any kind of relationship and I can only hope that the people we encounter in life try to follow these as well.
Great post! Communication is always the key! We do at times forget to show appreciation when we are treated special as well as holding ourselves accountable when we make mistakes. So this is a great reminder!
Thanks for sharing! It is great to be reminded to do these things. Some are easier than others.
I truly love this post! Your ideas are wonderful! Sometimes I can get so wrapped up in the day to day that I forget to focus on these things. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you for appreciating this Lauren. I understand how a busy life can do to us. It’s good that this posts serves as a reminder to you.
This is a great compilation of tips and I think they are all quite helpful, I agree with all of them.
That’s really awesome and nice guide.
Thank you for sharing this post with us. As a matter of fact, we learnt how to communicate properly in relationship with my boyfriend while we travelled. When we were alone, just depending on each other we had to learn how to communicate properly, there was nowhere to run 😀 I highly recommend that for anyone with troubled relationship 😀
This is such a beautiful post. Yes every relationship experiences misunderstanding. These guidelines throughly work
Wow! When it comes to relationship I have no words. I have full of fear and afraid to open my emotion 🙁 it’s hard of being “TORPE” Thank you for giving me some beautiful thoughts about Conflict relationship. 🙂
This is such a heartfelt post. A good relationship needs work and this post guides in the right direction.
I definitely agree, saying sorry is definitely the easiest way to resolve conflict.
Definitely agreeing with the saying that it takes a strong person to say sorry, and also even a stronger person to forgive the ones that wrong them. Also agreeing that saying sorry does not always mean that one’s wrong, it just means that one values the relationship more than one’s ego. Very inspiring!
I love starting with appreciation, it’s like a love infusion!
Saying sorry no matter who did the fault, is the first step for understanding. Lower the pride, coz if not it will eat you alive.
I loved everyone of these 10 tips. I personally like being scared( I think that is such a beautiful way to tell someone you’re unable to share your true feelings)
I am totally agree with you, saying sorry and talking about issues are most important thing to do in relationship. It makes relationship perfect.
Saying sorry is one of the most powerful and easiest way of resolving conflict in a relationship. It is surprising that most people finds it very difficult to say that world. Thanks for sharing your know with us.
Such great points. Admitting you were wrong is so hard to do but it is very important
Communication is key! So many disputes are the result of a misunderstanding. Saying I’m sorry and admitting being wrong is really hard but imperative. These are all great points.
Love all of the points in this post and I can really relate to many of them. It’s really important to have open communications and being able to say sorry even when it is the last thing you want to do.
Such a great guide to have a successful marriage. Marriage takes hard work, and is a learning process as the years go by. My husband and I use a lot of these already, but I’ll definitely be practicing to communicate better.
Seems I’m the only male here. Don’t know whether I’m in the wrong place, but I’m happy with what I’ve found here. Wow amazing! I don’t think you left anything out. I must share this with my girlfriend.
I feel that you raise some wonderful points in this post. Communication is very much important
Even after twenty years of marriage you still need to show appreciation to your partner. It’s so crucial! Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts!
That’s really valuable, thank you for sharing it! Xoxo
Relationship are really different nowadays with all the temptation and so on. But communication is key as trying to empower your partner instead of blaming.
Ben
Yes I agree! Talk about your problem don’t ignore it! What goes left unsaid builds into a ball of rage. Just talk to each other!
This list is a great one. Communication is all forms is the absolute key to any relationship. I’m so grateful to have a partner that I can communicate well with and avoid lots of conflict.
Being sincere is probably the best thing one can do to strengthen ones relationship.
Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Every couple should read this. Very helpful!
That’s a great guideline to help couples communicate better!! Sometimes conflicts deepen because of lack of proper communication. Thank you for sharing!
Really great post, I think that misunderstanding the situation is far most the common reason for arguing :/ We had to learn with my boyfriend to really try to look at the situation from different angles to be able to solve the problem 🙂
Communication is so important in a relationship as misunderstandings are often a cause for turmoil. I know I’ve experienced this numerous times. Great advice you have here!
Thanks for this Great post, I believe that any one who applies this your wonderful guild will enjoy his or her relationship.
As usual, always enjoy reading your post, absolutely agree with the tips you shared here 🙂