Do you believe that there is no life without difficulty? Would you consider that life is like a garden and there is no garden without weeds?
Did you know that you can start fresh?
How I Stopped Caring
It was Saturday morning and I was awaken by his hugs and kisses. As always, I woke up late, as it was 9 o’clock in the morning already. He was up early, did his morning routine and went back to bed just so when I wake up he is next to me. I’ve spent more time in bed with him, morning kiss, big hugs and I finally got up and made him breakfast.
After we ate, we got out of the house to feed our dogs and play with them. That’s when I noticed that I really have to clean our backyard. I’ve been so lazy that I was always telling myself “later” and a week later I still didn’t do it. While he was playing with our three dogs, one grumpy German Shepherd and two naughty Belgian Shepherd, I started picking up the clutter that they made, swept the dried leaves and that’s when I noticed that the weed overtook our garden.
I remember clearly as it was just yesterday, how beautiful our garden was, full of different kinds of blooming orchids, different colors of roses, and many more lively and beautiful flowers and plants. Just perfectly beautiful and alive. So far from what I am seeing now. Dead plants and green tall weeds, instead of green plants and colorful flowers. I stopped caring for our garden because our 3 dogs used to jump over the garden fence and eat the flowers, or dig the plants out and kill it. At first, I would always plant them back and try to save them, but it was like every time I do it, dogs will dig it back out again, (grrrr, so wicked)! It made me angry and I just let them dig more and never laid my eyes on our garden again.
Life is Like a Garden
Now as I am looking at it and thinking, my garden is like my life, once it was so beautiful, full of happiness, full of life. Relationship with my man wasn’t perfect but we worked on it until we made it perfect for us. Yes, we had our flaws, but we accepted it and learn how to correct them.
When I got pregnant, it made our relationship stronger. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t ask for more. We were perfectly happy. You know when you feel like every day of your life was full of excitement and dreams, talking about the future with your baby? There are days that other people will give you headaches because of their stupidity, but at the end of the day, you both just laugh it off because there’s more to life than that ignorance. It feels like your baby is the cure for all unpleasant things that are trying to break you and ruin your daily life.
Then she was taken from you, and all you can see is failures, stupid things, mistakes. All you feel is pain, grief, and hatred. How can you live after your life was taken from you? Can you see a beautiful future if that future became your ugly past? How can you find meaning to your life again? Would you want to continue living?
Blaming Them Won't Bring Her Back
6 months ago, my life has ended when our daughter was taken from us without any signs. Can anyone or anything make you prepare for that kind of pain? Every day, I wished I could do something to bring her back. Every night I wished I will never wake up. There is not a day that I wish that it should just be me, and not her. Not a day that I did not blame myself, maybe there is something I could do, or maybe there’s something I didn’t do.
I blamed the doctors for not saving her, heck! they did not even have an explanation why it happened to her, they can’t tell me the reason! She was healthy from day one, all her tests and my tests were great. I blamed my OB for not taking her time to check me, that she was always in a hurry when I visited her.
I blamed everyone, and everything, but I can’t bring back my child, and I can’t bring back the happiness I had. Just like my garden, I blamed our dogs but it won’t bring back my beautiful garden. It won’t bring back the flowers to bloom, it won’t bring the withered plants back to life.
Stop Blaming Yourself, Stop Blaming Everybody
What we need is courage and perseverance. Yes, we can blame everyone but it won’t bring back our lost child to us. Instead we can take small steps to bring back our life. Yes, it won’t be as beautiful as it was in the past but if we just take those steps every day, I know we can make our lives beautiful again. Just like my garden, I won’t be able to bring back how it looked like before. Pulling out the weeds, cleaning and watering it every day is a start. Planting new plants and flowers, and make the fence stronger, in no time I can make my garden beautiful again.
This is my message to you. Stop blaming yourself, stop blaming everybody. Make those steps forward. I am not saying it is easy, because it is not, it’s damn difficult! However, you have to do it. There is no life without difficulty, and there is no garden without weeds. Slowly take off all the heavy baggage in your life, start living again. Pull out the ugly weeds, replace the withered plants with new ones. Before you know it, you’re slowly healing. Start fresh, and live your life again.
I’m still in the process of healing, but with the help of my unmarried husband, I’m taking one little step everyday toward making our life beautiful again. How about you?
I would love to hear from you, please leave a comment.
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This Post Has 95 Comments
buautiful pictures and a lovely post.
Thank you ????
Your writing is so powerful. This was an amazing post to read and the message that came out of it was even better.
Thank you for appreciating my writing, it means a lot to me.
This is so beautiful and story for your loss too. Things happen in life that we have absolutely no control over, but we sure have control over how we choose to react to it, whether to allow it make or mar us. Thanks for sharing
Thank you, everything that happened and will happen in our lives happens for a reason, and that’s how we can appreciate the beauty of life if we continue seeing on the positive side.
I know it from the start that one day you will be enlighthen and will bring back the better days of ur life. And it did :)))
Slowly ma’am Jen ❤️. We won’t appreciate the beauty of life if we don’t get through ugly life events.
Firstly, well done on sharing something so deeply personal to help others with their own struggles. Secondly, I pray your healing process will unearth wonderful, positive things for you (both) and an amazing future. This is such a beautifully written and engaging post. God bless x
Thank you for the prayer Charley, I believe that God has his purpose. We can do all the things that we wanted to, but He still decides our future.
Great post Crisly! Really positive.
Thank you Jas, I appreciate your feedback.
I haven’t lost a child, but I have endured much pain and struggle in my life. But you must move forward and look for the silver lining in everything and simply cherish the time with who/what was lost. Beautiful story!
Trying to make small steps at a time. It’s hard but I know I can make it through. Thank you.
I’ve been trying to find my green thumb for years and I’m still not there yet. I’m so happy that you’re passion about it. Beautiful photos by the way.
Love it ????
Thank you and I’m glad you see it.
So sorry to hear about your loss… I genuinely wasn’t expecting to read about your child when I started reading about your garden. I particularly love your phrase “There is no life without difficulty, and there is no garden without weeds.”… I’ll save it and remember you. Sending you positive thoughts and lots of healing ????
Aww, you made my eye teary ???? thank you for your support and thoughtfulness. I’m glad you found a gym to take home ❤️
I’m very happy to have connected with you ????
Thank you, I appreciate it. ????
love this perspective! Thank you
Hi you’re story is extremely heart touching and it honestly brought tears to my eyes.I am extremely sorry for your loss.The worst nightmare for any parent is losing their child.I know life is 10 foot giant which knocks us down it’s up to us to get up and fight the giant.Stay strong and give yourself some time to heal
I am grateful for your words, tjank you. I am taking it slowly day by day, it’s really hard to move on after losing the one that completes you but I will not give up. I will continue living and believing everything happens for a reason.
Very powerful and inspiring. I admire your strength, courage, and perseverance, and I wish nothing but the best in the future.
Thank you, It made me happy reading a positive feedback, and I really appreciate it, life is tough but we have to be tougher.
Always a good reminder. Love the analogy!
Thank you Callie.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your words are truly inspiring. Hang in there.
I know how it feels to be alone in your thought this is the reason why I started writing my story, to inspire somebody who is going through difficult times. Thank you for you kind words.
Your writing moved me to tears, in a good way. Now subscribing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
That is heartwarming Erin, thank you.
I am sorry for your loss. You are as strong as your powerful writing.
Thank you for your support, sometimes all we need to do is to be strong to be able to survive in this cruel world.
Life really is a garden. We have to really work to get beauty and fruitfulness out of it. Please continue to be strong, and replant.
Thank you, I am working on it every day. It’s not easy, it’s like waking up everyday from a nightmare but I will continue to be strong.
We encourage you to continue to write your heart out because you are growing a beautiful garden with your writing. ❤
Your sweet, I appreciate your encouragement. There are times that whenever I write it’s like opening the wounds again, but it also helped me heal.
What a beautiful post, I am so sorry for your loss. This was well written and brought a few tears to my eyes. Keep writing your heart out love.
Thank you Ell, your sweet. Reading comments from people like you brought a tears to my eyes, I’m really happy that there are people that really understood how it feels, and are positive. Thank you❤️
Powerful message, thank you for sharing. So sorry for your loss
Thank you ❤️
You poured your heart into this one. I’m so sorry about your daughter; I’m glad you’re finding healing and have a good support system. Stay strong, lady ????
Thank you for your encouragement. I surround myself with positive people and it really helps.
I am so very sorry for your loss. This post is so lovely, it’s heartening to see someone metabolize their pain into something powerful. Beautifully done!
That’s sweet Paula thank you.
Wow! Such a powerful post! I’m so
Sorry you lost your daughter but I’m glad you’ve made it through and are able to talk about it. I’m sure once the dogs get older with age you can bring back your garden. I know it’s not much, but, the little things help get through the tough times
Thank you, writing helps me going and now I can open up how I feel. My dogs are all adults and I am happy that after I start reviving my garden they did not dig. Well maybe not yet ????
Very sorry for your loss. Your gained perspective on life after the tragedy is truly an inspiration! I feel as though, even though I probably can’t even comprehend the pain you must have felt, this post has really opened my eyes to how to continue on after bad things happen to you. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Im glad that by sharing my story I can inspire someone to keep on fighting whatever difficulties we may fave in life. I really appreciate your positivity.
Sorry to hear about your loss but in a case like this at least you had your husband to share the same grief with. I am sure you two were the best support and empathy for each other. Glad you have seen new light and decided to become super positive about it. I am sure you will be receiving a ton positive energy back from the universe. Keep smiling ????
That’s sweet of you,thank you. I believe that all this happens for a reason. My husband has been very supportive from the start. We’ll get through this together. Thank you for your positive thoughts.
What a passionate post, and it must have been so hard to write. x
It hurts and it also helps. ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss. This was such a lovely and honest post and the photos were absolutely beautiful! ❤
Thank you Morgan❤️
I have nominated you for the Blue Sky Tag challenge: https://worldofnabeeda.com/2017/06/20/blue-sky-tag-blog-challenge/
Looking forward to your answers ???? Good luck!
Aww sweet ???? thank you, I really appreciate it.
It is so beautifully written. Just going in a flow
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We cannot go through and live life with blame regardless if we put that blame to God, to other people, to circumstances or to ourselves. Our life is our own responsibility. Whatever comes, good or bad, we have to embrace it as if it is our choice. It is not easy, yes. But even if we refuse to acknowledge it, still the world will go on revolving. So while it is not easy, it is a choiceless choice but to let go and move on.
Reading your article just made m realize how easy we forget about the real meaning of life, which is living it as happy as we can and cherish it. We become so easy angry, upset, stressed out.
The outcome?! We lose… our moments, our life!
I am sorry for your loss and as I said before, feel free to say “Hy, I would need a shoulder right now”.
I will be there!
Ang lahat ng nangyayari sa atin o sa paligid natin sadyang meron dahilan mag tiwala lang tau kung anu man ito tandaan mo kung may maganda kang plano pero hindi natupad hindi ibig sabihin nun hindi kana nya mahal dahil sinaktan ka sa pangyayaring hindi mo inaasahan dahil tandaan mo kung may maganda kang plano tapos hindi ibinigay ito o binawi ito ibig sabihin lang nun may mas maganda pa syang plano kisa sau
Tandaan mo mahal ka ni God hindi ka nya pababayaan
This is a powerful post and a powerful reminder that no matter what our circumstances, we can choose actions and attitudes that will make the future better than if we did nothing. I admire your courage!
Thank you Matt. We need to be strong and courageous to move forward in life.
This post is so powerful and had me in tears. I read it twice and it had such an impact because I know people who have been in same situation and had to work hard to return to a Normal life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading Anissa.
You do a beautiful job of describing some of the emotion one feels when losing a loved one. Learning to live without them is hard but somehow you find the strength more and more each day.
True, it is difficult to continue living after the painful loss. But learning to let go and move forward can can bring you peace and courage.
Blessing you dear Heart, for the courage to reach deeply to explore, to acknowledge this loss, and to grief. Your post touches my heart and I bless you for the strength you continue to gain in the profound reflection that is this experience. I know that your Light shines on many and I see it returning to you a thousand fold. With Oceans of Love, 💕 Xo, Evelyn, PathofPresence.com 🦋
Thank you for your very uplifting words Evelyn, I appreciate it so much. Aknowledging this loss helped me bear the unbearable. My hope is to help others who are going through thesame pain.
I am so heartbroken for your loss, Crisly. The fact that you CHOOSE to move forward, have a positive attitude, and feel led to inspire others experiencing life’s hardships is truly beautiful. Blessings to you in your journey!
Thank you Alynda, sharing my stories of grief wasn’t easy but if I can empower and uplift somebody who are going through thesame difficulties, it helped me as well. Thank you for stopping by.
no matter what we would like to be or have, we are what we are now and tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. so our now is so precious so valuable. your article reminded me the saying “Life is the flower for which love is the honey” Victor Hugo 🙂 Thanks for your sharing!
I agree, life is no guarantee and everything is only temporary. But we have today to live ouir life to the fullest. Thank you for your comment.
This was such a sad and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading.
So moving. I’m sorry for your loss. Your garden will grow once again.
I pray for your fast dealing dear…life is extremely unpredictable
Aaaawwwww….am so sorry to hear what happened to you, Cris! One day at a time and all will be better.
Love you lots and a big hug from me.
So sorry for your loss. This is definitely a powerful post. The garden image compared to life is really a strong analogy. Thanks for sharing your story.
I love how you drew a connection between personal trials and weeds, it was really thoughtful and a great metaphor. thank you so much for the thoughtful analysis and encouraging acclamations you gave!
This was a really powerful post! It struck a chord with me. The human spirit is unstoppable when we regain meaning. I love roses and orchids too 🙂 thanks for sharing!
As usual your writing helps me a lot. Mentally. You are very much motivating.
Beautiful emotional narrative ..touches the heart…loss of a child is not easy to overcome.
You are right we cannot go on living blaming ourselves and others .life has to go on …like flowers in the garden..new plants .new fowers every season…requires mental strength.
God bless you
A very touching article you got here. I really felt it.
Such a heart touching, hard and inspiring post. I know how you feel. I always comfort my own patient’s and sometimes and empathize with them because I have been there. I pray for you and wish you all the best. May God bless you and your garden will bloom again for sure. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for your uplifting thoughts.
I am really sorry for your loss. A really heart felt post. God bless you and sending my love.
It’s definitely easier said than done, but forgiveness is the first step to acceptance. I think once you’re ready to stop issuing blame in what happened, it is when you’re truly ready start getting better. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I feel like your experiences have made you a stronger person.
Very emotional and touched post. Having lost my brothers, I agree with what u have said. We got to stop blaming ourselves. And here I am 10 years after keeping things together.
Life is like a garden indeed which needs nourishment with love and care to blossom with joy. I do need to take care of my emotional well being which create havoc at certain times like weeds in garden.
You make a good parable. Life is like a garden, always beautiful as if in heaven. Forever..