The Beautiful Woman on MySpace
I am not the best writer and sometimes it’s hard for me to put anything into actual words, even one of the best things that have ever happened to me; our story. Here it goes anyway! First, I will introduce myself at a high level; my name is Heather, I grew up in Hemet, California and moved to Missouri when I was 15. Leaving behind my friends, my dad, the only life that I knew. I did okay in the Midwest until I realized I was not exactly straight, who am I kidding? I was super gay. I did what I could with my lifestyle in Missouri, I should say my secret lifestyle. My dating scene was on social media, where I really felt I could be myself, as pathetic as that may seem.
I remember seeing these photos on Myspace of this beautiful woman. She was so petite and adorable and gorgeous, and the list goes on and on. Introducing myself online was so easy, there’s no way I could have ever approached her in person. I sent her a private message and we became online buddies. This was back in 2005 and I was 22 years young, Jessica (the petite, adorable, gorgeous) woman was a bit older and was not sure what to do with someone so young, in Missouri, flirting with her on MySpace. She was very kind though, the sweetest really.
We stayed MySpace buddies for a few years, would check in on each other every now and then. Sometimes when I felt like disappearing from the world, I would delete my Account, but eventually, Jess and I always found each other again and picked up where we left off. To put into perspective how smitten I was, I actually proposed marriage to her, yes, online… on one of her photos (insert facepalm.) She was nice about it, but I knew she was most likely thinking, wow, this girl is crazy.
Do The Right Thing
Fast forward to 2009, we lost touch again and had been doing our own thing. I came to California to visit my dad. We had a good time; road tripped from SoCal to CentralCal. At one point during my trip, we stopped at an In-N-Out in Camarillo on our way to Lompoc. I remember looking around at the town and thinking, this place isn’t very nice. I would never want to live here. I know this sounds weird and pointless, but I promise, there is a point in me bringing it up. I will get to it later.
On the last evening there, I decided I needed to let him know he won’t be having a son-in-law… ever. Long and short of it, the “coming out” didn’t go well. The last words I heard at the airport the next day were “do the right thing.” I went home and decided I was going to do just that, the right thing… for me. I knew I wanted to settle down I knew I wanted to get married and have kids, so I put myself out there again and for the first time in my life, I joined an actual dating site. This one was for lesbians only.
I searched through the different photos and descriptions of life stories. Then one photo really caught my eye. It was my MySpace buddy, Jess! I think I “poked” her or something, whatever you could do with the free version of the site. She “poked” me back and sent me a message with It reading “oh! It’s my little myspace buddy! ” We exchanged hello’s and caught one another up with our lives.
Giving Up is Not an Option.
For the first time, we exchanged phone numbers and actually talked on the phone. I remember being nervous to talk to her. It’s strange talking to someone for the first time who you have actually known for years. It’s not something I had really done before, usually, if I was interested in someone, we would talk right away, but with Jess, it was different.
After the nervousness wore off it was like chatting online again… easy and fun. We had way too much in common that it was scary and our mutual appreciation for pooping and farts blew my mind (no pun intended.) We talked on the phone every single day and every single night since then. Instead of going out with friends, we stayed in, on the phone having a movie date. Jess would send me a DVD of the movie we were to watch that weekend and a care package of Coffee Bean coffee (which we didn’t have in Missouri) and other snacks. We would get ready for the film and would say together “okay, 1…2…3…PLAY” … and that, was our Saturday night for the next 9 months.
I finally met Jess in person in January 2010. On January 22nd, we became official and decided we were just going to make it work. Jess would fly to Missouri, I would fly to California. We saw each other a total of 5 times within a 9-month span. It wasn’t the easiest; being away from someone you truly love and want to be around every second of every day, but giving up wasn’t an option.
Be Strong During Difficult Times
Jess’ dad passed away in August of 2010, I flew there that morning to be with her and help her the best I could through the toughest time of her life thus far. It was a very emotional time and I found myself not wanting to leave her. This time when I left back to Missouri, I cried. As cliché as it sounds, I am not a crier, it kind of takes a lot to “get me there.” So, when it does happen, I know it’s something big. I knew at that moment I needed to take charge of my life and just be happy.
I got back to Missouri and immediately started making plans to move to California, Jess was on the same page and wanted this as much as I did. So, I quit my job and told my mom and nana that I would be moving across the country, back to California where I started, literally. My mom was sad of course but really happy for me too. She knew it was the right decision for me, so that made it easier.
I moved in with Jess in August 2010. I let my dad know I would be living closer to him, how great for us! Unfortunately, after finding out that I was still a lesbian, he didn’t want too much to do with me. I know he would have really loved Jess too if he gave it a chance. They are both engineers, they would have had a lot in common. I still hold onto hope that someday he will want to meet the love of my life. Jess really helped me during this time.
Over the years, we endured several deaths of loved ones; my grandpa, her mother, 2 dogs, my grandma, and her brother. It seemed like every single year, someone very dear to us passed away. Somehow, we got through, of course, we had our moments where it all seemed too difficult, and it would bring us to an argument or wondering if our love story was the right thing to continue… but like in the early days, we always found our way back to one another. We never let any of the hardships break us up, I really think we can get through anything and still make it out alive and together.
Celebrate Every Hardship
We finally said our “I do’s” on October 14th, 2017. It was a magical day for us celebrated with friends and family in beautiful and quaint Westlake Village. We wrote our own vow’s where I made sure to let her know how much I appreciated her Mexican cooking and how she always holds the door open for the little old ladies (and the little old men too.) We danced, we laughed, drank beer and celebrated every hardship we had gone through, every tear, every smile, every phone calls, movie date, and every MySpace comment, even the one where I proposed.
Jess and I are now trying to start a family. We started the process in February 2018… so far, we have not been successful… but giving up has NEVER been an option for us in anything, so this isn’t any different. Our next embryo transfer is later this month, wish us luck!
Oh, before I close, I want to get back to my point from before where my dad and I stopped at In-N-Out in the weird California town that I never wanted to live in, Camarillo.
Well, not only is that the very same town Jess is from and resides in and now my place of residence, it is also our last name. Yes, I was in Camarillo in 2009 and hated it, where Jessica Camarillo lived, where we are now trying to build and raise a bunch of little Camarillo’s… and honestly, I couldn’t be any happier.
Do the right thing for yourself, it’s not being selfish but it is being you. When things are tough, never give up, instead celebrate every hardships. At the end it will all be worth it.