When I found that I had conceived my first born, I was ecstatic, overjoyed beyond words. I was 27 years old and my only aim in life it seemed was to be a wife and now be a good mother to my coming child. That was the time I could not see anything beyond or above it and to be true I was at a happy place.
I had married the man I wanted to after much struggle – and I wanted to make this life count with him. He was the center of my universe. Since I had a inter religion wedding my parents didn’t attend my wedding. They were hurt by the decision taken by me. So, it was me and him. I never realized that there is life beyond him and marriage. My days would pass by cleaning my home, going to work and in anticipation of the new member of the family. My son was born on 26 September ‘2009 and to be true I don’t know where the next 3-4 years went by.
My Mundane Life
By 2012 my son was in school and I was back to work, leading my mundane life. My husband is a very ambitious man and so he expected me to be like him. He wanted me to be independent of him, have a circle of my own friends, go out on my own, and set a goal for myself. He was probably right from his end, but somehow, I never understood him. I never wanted to do that. Meanwhile, I had lost myself in my banal life. I didn’t have any friends who I talked to or I didn’t have any interest in going out.
Meanwhile, one of my friends was going through a treacherous time in her life. She was married to a man who was absolutely opposite to my husband. She was expected to sit at home, and do the household chores, she was beaten daily and ultimately, she separated. The turmoil was so much that she had to leave everything, including her 3-year-old son and just left to live a life that she could label as a life. That’s when it hit me!
What had I been doing all these years? Where was I? What was my identity – apart from my identity as a wife and a mother – I was nothing. No one knew me as me. It was heartbreaking, I was overwhelmed for many days… and next day when I woke up – life had changed. I vowed to better myself as a person, mother and wife and a friend.
Things I Personally Did to Change Myself
- I am not a very social outspoken person and neither did I like anyone coming to my house. This is where I started, I started calling my friends on regular intervals, started keeping in touch with my family through messages. I started inviting family friends for dinner and started interacting. This was tough but became easier as the days went by.
- As a person I used to crib continuously. Every phase of my life was incomplete and worthy of complain and I remained negative. I had read that gratitude change things and so this is from I started. Before I went to sleep each night, I went down my knees and thanked God for the day, my family and the opportunity to enjoy each day.
- I became a positive power house. Talking positively and being bright all day, changed the perspective of my life. Looking at opportunities and challenges from the brighter side of life is an eye opener.
- Whenever I used to feel overwhelmed, I used to plug my ear phones and used to go for a walk. I not only lost 9 Kgs in 3 months but this also boosted my confidence and calm like never before.
- I subscribed to motivational blogs and Facebook groups. Reading about how other people changed their lives inspired me a lot. It helped me push my boundaries.
- Last but the most important – My Lord Jesus, I don’t think I would have been able to achieve what I was able to achieve without him. It gives me immense happiness when someone compliments me as a friendly, outspoken and a social person.
I feel humbled every day for this beautiful life that I have and look forward to each day with gratitude. If we want to change something; first it starts with us – either we can choose to stay where we are dreading change or change our circumstances and move forward. The choice is YOURS and YOURS ALONE.
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